Ever wake up and wonder how your world turned upside down. Everything went from right to wrong in one defiant crash that tore the hinges off your world. The realization is slowly creeping In but I wont let it. I want to stop everything as if pausing it will somehow make it better. Maybe I just want to pause it bc its not right without you, like I think that everything should stop and we should wait for you. But your not coming back. I miss you so much and I would give anything… anyone to have u back here. Its not fair. I know life’s not fair you have told me a million times. But this one damn time I just want it to be so much. The things you told me all my life run over and over in my mind and I don’t see how this will ever get better. Its like I have a giant gaping hole that can never be filled. I feel so bad there wasn’t anything I could do. I just want it all to be ok I just want my dad. I want to go and ride around in the truck and go four wheeling, learn everything from you, and be with my dad. Im free falling no one can catch me but you. Why did this happen I don’t understand. Im so sorry I wasn’t a better daughter. I wanted to make you proud and give you back everything you gave to me. I wanted that land with the shop and my father daughter dance at my wedding one day. I don’t want to fail you. But, I need you. I never really understood how hard it was. No one will ever be like you, I wish I was.